There is a woman whose husband, after a few years of marriage, developed schizophrenia or paranoia. She tried hard to make him undergo treatment, but he stubbornly refused. He is not convinced that all that he is sick, which is a characteristic of this illness. All her attempts have failed, because his family refused to force him to seek treatment. She no longer felt safe with him, and in fact he threatened to kill her, then he divorced her. She has two small children, whom she is bringing up. She is very keen that they should uphold ties of kinship with their father and his family, and she has not remarried. My question is: will she, by Allah’s leave, attain the same reward as the widow woman who will rush to enter paradise with the Messenger (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) because she devoted her life to raising her orphan children, as this woman is taking care of her two sons who are like orphans, because they have no father in their life?
Praise be to Allah
Many people are unnecessarily concerned with finding out about some specific reward, and they forget about the general reward with which Allah will honour all the believers. Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, has promised all Muslims a great reward if they bear hardship with patience and show acceptance and contentment with whatever befalls them in this world of troubles and problems. Allah, may He be glorified, says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Except those who show patience and do righteous good deeds, those: theirs will be forgiveness and a great reward (Paradise)”
“(Saying): ‘We feed you seeking Allah’s Countenance only. We wish for no reward, nor thanks from you.
‘Verily, We fear from our Lord a Day, hard and distressful, that will make the faces look horrible (from extreme dislike of it).’
So Allah saved them from the evil of that Day, and gave them Nadratan (a light of beauty) and joy.
And their recompense shall be Paradise, and silken garments, because they were patient,
Reclining therein on raised thrones, they will see there neither the excessive heat of the sun, nor the excessive bitter cold, (as in Paradise there is no sun and no moon)”
It is not wise to overlook these great rewards that are mentioned in general terms, and look instead for some specific reward that is mentioned in a particular hadith that may not even be proven to be sound, and even if it is proven to be sound, it may be applicable only to widows and cannot be applied by analogy to divorcees.
Therefore our advice to you is to put your trust in Allah and focus on raising your children and giving them a good upbringing, and for every hour you spend on that purpose, you will have an immense reward from Allah, may He be glorified, in addition to your previous reward for your steadfastness in bearing the calamity of your ex-husband’s illness.
With regard to the hadith that speak of the virtue of the widow who refrained from remarriage in order to devote her life to taking care of her orphaned children, this is a da‘eef (weak) report that was not narrated via any sound chain of narrators from the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him). But we hope that the one who devotes her life to raising her children and giving them a good upbringing will attain the reward mentioned in this hadith, if it were saheeh (sound).
The first hadith:
It was narrated that ‘Awf ibn Maalik al-Ashja‘i said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said:
“I and the woman with dull cheeks will be like these two on the Day of Resurrection – and he held his forefinger and middle finger together. – That is a woman of high status and beauty whose husband died, and she devoted her life to caring for her orphaned children until they became able to take care of themselves or died.”
The woman with dull cheeks is one whose colour has changed because she has been a widow for a long time and she has given up adorning herself.
Narrated by al-Bukhaari in al-Adab al-Mufrad (no. 141); Ahmad in al-Musnad (39/432); Abu Dawood in an-Sunan (5149); Ibn Abi’d-Dunya in an-Nafaqah ‘ala al-‘Iyaal (1/232); at-Tabaraani in al-Mu‘jam al-Kabeer (18/56) – via an-Nahhaas ibn Qahm, who said: Shaddaad Abu ‘Ammaar told me, from ‘Awf ibn Maalik.
We say: This is a da‘eef (weak) isnaad, because of an-Nahhaas ibn Qahm. Yahya al-Qattaan classed his hadith as da‘eef. Ibn Ma‘een said: He is nothing. Abu Haatim said likewise. He was classed as da‘eef by Abu Dawood and an-Nasaa’i. Ibn ‘Adiyy said: His hadiths in which he is the only narrator from trustworthy narrators cannot be supported by any corroborating evidence. Ibn Hibbaan said: He used to narrate odd (munkar) reports from known narrators, and he differed from trustworthy narrators; he cannot be quoted as evidence. Ad-Daaraqutni said: His hadith is ill-founded. See his biography in Tahdheeb at-Tahdheeb (10/426).
There is another problem with this hadith, which is the break in the chain of narration between Shaddaad Abu ‘Ammaar and ‘Awf ibn Maalik. Saalih Jazrah said: He did not hear from him. See: Tahdheeb at-Tahdheeb (4/317).
Therefore this hadith was classed as da‘eef by Shaykh al-Albaani (may Allah have mercy on him) in Da‘eef Abi Dawood, in as-Silsilah ad-Da‘eefah (no. 1122), and elsewhere.
The second hadith:
It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said:
“I will be the first one to open the gate of paradise, but a woman will come rushing to enter with me. I will say to her: What is the matter with you, and who are you? And she will say: I am a woman who devoted my life to caring for my orphaned children.”
Narrated by Abu Ya‘laa in al-Musnad (12/7); al-Khateeb al-Baghdaadi in al-Muttafaq wa’l-Muftaraq (2/1091); ad-Daylami in al-Firdaws (1/34) – via ‘Abd as-Salaam ibn ‘Ajlaan al-Hujaymi: Abu ‘Uthmaan an-Nahdi told us, from, Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him).
This chain of narration is also da‘eef (weak), because of ‘Abd as-Salaam ibn ‘Ajlaan. End quote from al-Jarh wa’t-Ta‘deel (6/46). Ibn Hibbaan said: He makes mistakes and his hadiths differ from those of trustworthy narrators. End quote from ath-Thiqaat (7/127).
If such a person is not deemed trustworthy, any hadith narrated by him alone is not to be accepted; rather the critics stated that he made mistakes and his hadith differed from those of trustworthy narrators. Therefore he was classed as da‘eef by al-Busayri in Ithaaf al-Khiyarah (5/488); and by al-Albaani in Da‘eef at-Targheeb wa’t-Tarheeb (2/81) and as-Silsilah ad-Da‘eefah (5374).
This hadith was also narrated by al-Kharaa’iti in Makaarim al-Akhlaaq (p. 212). He said: Nasr ibn Dawood al-Khalanji told us: Sahl ibn Bakkaar told us: ‘Abd as-Salaam Abu’l-Khaleel told us, from Abu Yazeed al-Madani, from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), who said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Allah has forbidden any human to enter Paradise before me, but I shall look to my right, and I shall see a woman racing with me to reach the gate of Paradise. I shall say: Why is she racing with me? And it will be said to me: O Muhammad, this is a woman who was beautiful, and she had to take care of her orphaned children, so she devoted her life to them with patience until they reached the age of independence, and Allah appreciated her deed.”
Shaykh al-Albaani (may Allah have mercy on him) said concerning this isnaad of al-Kharaa’iti: It is the same as the isnaad of Abu Ya‘la, and the mistake was made by ‘Abd as-Salaam when he said: “from Abu Yazeed al-Madani” instead of “Abu ‘Uthmaan an-Nahdi. And he said: Perhaps it stemmed from the poor memory of ‘Abd as-Salaam himself.
End quote from as-Silsilah ad-Da‘eefah (11/625)
Al-Haafiz al-‘Iraaqi said concerning this report of al-Kharaa’iti:
Its isnaad is da‘eef (weak).
End quote from Takhreej al-Ihya’ (1/500)
The third hadith:
It was narrated from Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said:
“There are three who will be in the shade of the Throne on the Day when there will be no shade but His shade: one who upholds ties of kinship, for Allah will increase his provision and extend his lifespan; a woman whose husband dies and leaves her with young orphans, so she says, ‘I shall not get married; rather I shall devote my life to taking care of my orphans until they die or Allah makes them independent of means’; and a man who makes food and hosts his guest and spends generously on him, and he also invites the orphan and the needy, and feeds them for the sake of Allah, may He be exalted.”
Narrated by ad-Daylami in al-Firdaws (2/99). In al-Jaami‘ as-Sagheer, it is attributed to Abu’sh-Shaykh in ath-Thawaab and al-Asbahaani in at-Targheeb, but we could not find its isnaad in either of them.
But Shaykh al-Albaani (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
It is da‘eef jiddan (very weak).
End quote from Da‘eef al-Jaami‘ (no. 2580); see also as-Silsilah ad-Da‘eefah (no. 3437). That is because of Yazeed ar-Raqaashi.
The hadith is da‘eef (weak) and is not saheeh (sound), but its weakness is slight; it cannot be deemed severely weak or odd. In fact some scholars of hadith classed its isnaad as hasan, such as al-Mundhiri in at-Targheeb wa’t-Tarheeb (3/236)
What this means is that there is nothing wrong with a widow who devotes her life to caring for her orphaned children hoping for that reward which is mentioned in the hadith, in the hope that Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, might grant that to her, but that should be without believing that this hadith can be attributed to the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him).
As for the woman who is divorced, this virtue is not mentioned in her case, so the best is to keep quiet about that and seek the reward for patience, which Allah has promised to all those who show patience, and the reward for bringing up children that Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, has ordained for those who give children a good upbringing.
A wise person should not be satisfied with his or her present circumstances; rather, he or she should continually aspire to achieve noble aims and seek self-improvement. If he or she attains a certain status, he or she must look forward to achieving an even higher one. Undeniably, this has to be done without demonstrating an inclination to this worldly life or contradicting the Sharee’ah of Allah The Almighty. If he or she follows such a way, he or she will not settle for anything less than Paradise.
‘Umar ibn ‘Abd Al-‘Azeez noted about himself: "I am ambitious. At first, I strove for the position of emir and when I gained that, I was determined to hold the title of caliph. When I attained even that rank now, I am still motivated now to reach Paradise." This is what true ambition is – the soul longing for what is more perfect and sublime. The Prophet, , used to guide his Ummah (Nation) to be ambitious for noble causes and rise above all that is petty, when he said: "Allah The Almighty loves the things that are most exalted and honorable, and [He] hates all that is mundane."
Difference between ambition and determination
In our context, both ambition and determination share the same purpose: seeking noble things; however, they differ in terms of motivation and means.
For instance, a determined person may be motivated by an aversion to apathy that is caused by humiliation or to ward off the shame of imperfection. On the other hand, ambition is driven by the desire of one’s soul to achieve a higher goal.
However, in terms of means, a person motivated by the latter may go to extremes in pursuit of his or her objective, while a person with strength of mind usually makes use of noble ways that conform to the Sharee’ah of Allah The Almighty.
Yet, undoubtedly, if one does not exert his or her utmost to achieve a goal, his or her aspirations are nothing but mere wishes. A truly ambitious man is he who does his best to achieve what he wants and may tire himself for the sake of his ambition. That is why many poems speak of this, such as some of those that state that a person who is afraid of risks and failure, and is overly cautious cannot attain glory, just like a rose cannot exist without thorns.
Indeed, the path to all that is noble is unpaved and suffused with hardship, which is why Mu‘aawiyah once advised ‘Amr ibn Al-‘Aas : "A person who seeks something great must risk something significant." Similarly, the latter, he would say: "You [people] have to pursue decisive and critical matters."
Ambitions of the noble and eminent
Great people are typically driven toward achievement of honorable aims and far removed from petty gains. Hence, one would usually find them ambitious in:
1-Seeking knowledge: Having realized that knowledge is the worthiest acquisition, both morally and spiritually, and the most honorable objective of all nations, they sacrifice their time and wealth for it. Then, their wisdom saves them from being led astray. Hence, they endure hardship, lead an austere life, leave behind their homeland and families and do not bother with rest and entertainment for its sake. One of them would depart from his country to another place in pursuit of only one Hadeeth. This is only done with infinite determination and great care to make the best of every moment.
2-Achieving martyrdom: When those of great willpower learn of the reward of one who dies a martyr for the sake of Allah The Almighty, they race each other to it, not favoring others over themselves in this respect. Ibn ‘Umar narrated that his father said to his brother during the battle of Uhud: "O my brother, take my armor", but he replied: "I want to die as a martyr just as you do." Therefore, neither of them donned the armor. [At-Tabarani] It was also reported that Ja‘far ibn Abi Talib hit his horse [urging it to gallop faster], while he was fighting, saying: "How nice Paradise is when it comes near; it is good and [like] a cool drink. The Romans will be subjected to torment; they have rejected belief and are of ignoble ancestors; when I meet them [in the battlefield], I am required to kill them." He remained in this spirit until he was killed.
3-Attaining Paradise: When, it was once said to Al-‘Attabi : "So-and-so is an ambitious person", he replied: "Then he must have no aim but Paradise." Indeed, any goal that is less than that is meager in comparison. Yet, this does not mean that a person is forbidden from having ambitions in his or her worldly life; that is okay, as long as he or she adheres to the Sharee’ah of Allah The Almighty, observes His limits and has a righteous intention behind all deeds.-islamweb.net
How would a husband and a wife repent if they committed "Zina" before their marriage? Do they have to remarry?
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions. Basically, marrying a person who committed Zina is not permissible till he/she makes repentance towards Allah. In addition, to repent a woman who has committed Zina should wait until a menstrual period to confirm that she is not conceived from that Zina. This is only to protect mankind from mischief, bad consequences, and the lineage from being mixed, etc. After making sincere repentance the two people who committed Zina may get married. If it happened that they married before making repentance and after that they repent in this case the marriage contract is valid and they do not need to renew it. But, marrying before repentance is a great sin. Allah knows best.
"O you who believe! Let not a group scoff at another group, it may be that the latter are better than the former; nor let (some) women scoff at other women, it may be that the latter are better than the former, nor defame one another, nor insult one another by (offensive) nicknames. How bad is it, to insult one's brother after having Faith. And whoever does not repent – then it is those who are the wrongdoers. O you who believe! Avoid much suspicions, indeed some suspicions are sins. And do not spy or backbite each other. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would detest it (so detest backbiting). And fear God; indeed, God is Accepting of repentance and Merciful. O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another. Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of God is the most righteous of you. Indeed, God is Knowing and Acquainted." (Quran 49: 11-13)
This article discusses three essential verses from chapter 49, The Dwellings. This chapter was revealed in Medina and as with most Median chapters it deals predominantly with establishing the fledgling Muslim community. These verses are an attempt to teach the first Muslims good manners; manners that befit the believers who live in a tight knit society. The final of the three verses warns the believers to stay away from behaviour that could be thought of as nationalism or tribalism.
The first two verses here begin with a term of endearment. God addresses the people as believers. He says, "Oh you who believe". God then says that it is forbidden for one group of believers to deride or mock another group. God specifically mentions women but it is understood that it could be any group. Muslims are one family and everyone is entitled to respect and dignity. A person’s integrity should be valued, both in their presence or when they are absent. The people that are mocked or ridiculed may be highly regarded by God. And in the eyes of God, the ones that are defamed might be better than the ones who jeer and scoff.
Part of mocking and defamation is to call a person by a name that they dislike, or a name that suggests disrespect. It is important for a person to have a "good" name not one that calls to mind unfavourable qualities. Nicknames if they are used at all should not suggest ridicule or cause laughter and snickering. Prophet Muhammad, may the mercy and blessings of God be upon him, changed the names of some of his companions and in some cases it was because those names or nicknames could bring pain to the people concerned. He changed the name of a woman called Assiyah to the name Jameela which means beautiful. Assiyah is the female version of Assi and it means disobedient. Prophet Muhammad pointed out that it stressed a quality that is associated with being rebellious or rejecting faith. The believers are then warned that they might lose the desirable quality of devotion if they fail to show respect to others. Engaging in mocking or ridicule is an act not befitting for a believer.
These essential verses establish rules for a well-mannered community. They were revealed to educate the first Muslim community, so that it would be a community based on the noble word of God. This community would be forever more looked upon as an example of how a community of believers should behave towards one another. Believers are expected to avoid being suspicious of one another without any ground, or to begin with suspicion in forming an opinion about others, or entertain a suspicion about people whose apparent condition show that they are good and noble. God then instructs the believers not to spy on one another. Spying might be an action that results from suspicion or it might be a completely separate action. This includes groping after the secrets of people and searching for their defects and weaknesses. It is to be avoided because it is a vile pursuit and goes against the high moral code of behaviour God expects from the believers.
People are entitled to have their freedom and their privacy. Their rights should not be violated or encroached upon. In the early days of Islam a man wanted to call the police on his neighbours who he suspected of drinking alcohol. He was advised not to do so but to advise and warn them instead. The person who told him not to call the police heard Prophet Muhammad say that the one who conceals the faults of a believer is like a person who rescues a baby girl who had been buried alive. Not being suspicious or spying is like a barrier protecting people’s rights and freedoms. Another of Prophet Muhammad’s companions said to take people on the basis of what is apparent and avoid spying on things that God keeps concealed.
Next is the order from God that forbids backbiting and it is presented in a way that leaves no doubt as to the vile nature of this sin. Backbiting is described as eating the flesh of your dead brother. This something that would make people feel revulsion; they would stay well away from such a scenario. This is how God expects us to handle backbiting. The believers are told to be mindful of God and to ask for repentance.
God then addresses all of humankind; all races, all ethnic groups and all colours and societies. He reminds them that they all share one origin, one male and one female. Therefore they should not divide themselves along racial and ethnic lines. God is informing humankind about the reason for the differences, and contrary to humankind’s repeated behaviour, it is not to cause conflict and enmity. It is for the purpose of getting to know one another and rejoicing in the differences and similarities that make us all different yet very much the same. Fanatical bonds of race, tribe, clan, family, and homeland have no place in the heart of a believer.
There is only one thing that determines a person’s worth. That thing is piety. God determines a person’s value based on their beliefs, morals and manners, not on their skin colour or their ancestry. -islamreligion.com
Is it Halal for a married woman to masturbate given that she does not feel anything during intercourse?
Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.
Masturbation is equally forbidden for married and unmarried persons but its prohibition for a married person is greater. The reason mentioned in your question does not justify committing this sin. She should inform her husband about her need and should ask him to be patient till she is satisfied because the main purpose of marriage is sexual satisfaction of both the husband and wife. Hence, she should not feel ashamed to ask her right from her husband.
However, it is permissible for a wife or a husband to masturbate each other.
While no other person could be a better preacher then the Prophet (peace be upon him), the result of 13 years of preaching in his own home town was nowhere nearly as successful as it was in Madinah, where the people welcomed the Prophet and converted so easily to Islam. Why was this the case?
The reason that calling to Allah was more successful in Madinah is because the people of Madinah knew of the Messenger’s call from the Jews who were residing there. The Jews used to tell the people of Madînah that a Prophet will one day be sent. That is why, when he came to them, they were eager to believe in him.
The people of Mecca were totally submerged in paganism and this prevented their acceptance of the new call. They had inherited from their forfathers ideas that prejudiced them against the new religion while this was not the case for the people of Madinah.
We should recall that many people from Madinah accepted Islam while Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) was still in Mecca. Some of them accepted Islam when they came to Mecca for pilgrimage. They, in turn, invited others in Madinah to accept Islam upon their return. They are the ones who invited Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) to come to them in Madinah in the first place. However, guidance is only given by Allah, and he bestows it upon whomever He wills.
What should a husband do if he discovers on the wedding night that his wife is not a virgin because she did not bleed?
Failure to bleed on the first night is not a sign of loss of virginity, nor is it recognized as such in Islamic Law.
There are numerous reasons why a woman might not bleed. A percentage of women do not bleed at all. Some women bleed ever so slightly that it avoids detection. Other women have had the most minor of childhood accidents or falls that broke the hymen and causes them not to bleed in maturity, and they may not even aware that such an accident had taken place. Even lifting a heavy object, running, or jumping can cause it to break. Some girls break it through touching themselves.
For some women, the hymen does not break until childbirth.
We need to know that chastity and purity are character traits that exist quite independently of the hymen’s presence or absence.
Allah describes believing women as follows: “So the righteous women are the obedient, guarding in secret that which Allah has guarded.” [Sûrah al-Nisâ’: 34]