Islam

Islam

Thursday, 20 July 2017

Denies her husband sex because he does not pray regularly

Image result for isteri tak benar jimak

Question

Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuhu, I have an issue with my husband. I am myself new converted, makes 8 years now, alhamdullah. We have 2 boys, 6 and 3 years old. I have done all possible, taht kids know how to pray, know Quran (oldest son knows allready 4 Surat from Quran and reads every evening before sleeping Ruqia). My husband I not praying regulary - sometimes he has good spirit and prays and family life is shiny; often he has low spirit due to his family problems that he has to solve from a distance and he stops praying. He never taught kids how to pray he does not speak arabic with then, even we made agree before marriage, taht he speaks arabic only... Myself I am very sorry for kids, that I am only one teaching Quran for them. I do my best, inshallah. My husband is a very good person, husband and father, he has a very big hart and helps everybody, but he lets his family abroad to mess up his spirit all the time and this causes problems in our marriage. Now I have begged him to pray, he does does not, and I am getting really un-patient. Now what the Quran says for men to ignore wifes in the bed, I have done with my husband. He does not like it, but he just cannot hear or obey my onlyest please to pray... I am helpless, having all the time bad feeling and my husband is sayin it is my fault, he does not pray, cause I do not want to sleep with him. But I cannot, cause person who does not pray, I cannot have intercourse with. I am afraid, in case i will be get pregnant, Allah punishes him with a child, that's not healthy. I stopped nagging rather do not speak about praying, just reminding him, it is the time. My husband works long days, like me too, but I do my 5 prayers every day. How do I have to handle? Barakallahufik for your help!

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention )is His slave and Messenger.

Indeed, you did well for being keen on nurturing your children upon faith and for teaching them the memorization of the Quran. We ask Allah to give you success in doing that and to rectify your husband.

We advise you to continue being concerned with your children. The negligence of your husband should not cause you distress and prevent you from doing this important role by which you will achieve happiness in this world and in the Hereafter.

As regards your husband, if he is as you mentioned in the question that he abandons the prayer, then his situation is very serious and he has indeed committed one of the grave major sins. However, the opinion of the majority of the scholars  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  them is that a person who abandons the prayer out of laziness does not go out of the fold of Islam, however, some scholars  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  them are of the view that he goes out of the fold of Islam.

Therefore, we advise you to continue admonishing him in a soft and gentle manner and remind him that those problems which occur should not lead him to abandon the prayer, and that abandoning the prayer may cause the calamities and make them more complex. On the contrary, performing the prayer at its prescribed fixed time may be a reason for repelling the calamities. Allah Says (what means): {And seek help through patience and prayer, and indeed, it is difficult except for the humbly submissive [to Allah].}[Quran 2:45]

As regards deserting the spouse in bed, then in Islam it is the husband who has the right to do so with his wife and not vice-versa.

According to the view of the majority of the scholars  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  them who are of the view that a person who abandons the prayer does not go out of the fold of Islam, then the bond of marriage between both of you is still valid. Therefore, it is not permissible for you to refuse his request when he invites you to bed. However, if you fear to be harmed by staying with him, then you may ask for divorce.

Allaah Knows best.

-islamweb.net

Husband does not pray and prevents wife from visiting parents

Image result for isteri solat, suami tak solat

Question

I am from Iran (I am Sunni-Hanafi), but I was born and brought up in Dubai. I have been living in Iran ever since my marriage. I did not want to marry my husband but was guilt-tripped into it by my parents. There is a 10-year age gap between us, and we are both really different. I was brought up in a religious family, and his family is so fancy. We really had a very ruff begining, and I could not feel any love towards him. He is always so angry and talks in a mean way and does not like me to visit my relatives or go shopping; he just wants me to stay home. Three years have passed since our marriage, and I have not seen any change in him. I am so tired of living this life without love, respect, and trust. He is always so suspicious and does not pray and always listens to music. We always argue because we always misunderstand each other. It has now reached the point that I feel disgusted when he touches me and get really furious when he talks to me and is around. I keep refusing when he calls me to bed, but he forces me. I tried to explain to him that the way he treats me has created a big distance between us, but he said that I am just making up excuses because I do not love him and said that if I do not want to live with him I can leave and should not even think of asking for the baby. My mom suggested to tell him that if he starts praying, I will stay with him for the sake of Allaah, but he disagreed and said that he will start from Ramadan. He prayed and fasted the 30 days of Ramadan and then did not pray even one day for 11 months up to the next Ramadan. Then I decided to pray Istikhaarah (prayer of consultation) for a week, and if he starts praying, I will stay, and if not, then I will leave. After a week, I wanted to take my baby and go, but since he did not let me take her, I stayed. Although he knows that I am thinking of separation, he literally forces me to bed. I do not want to lose my child, but I feel very disturbed and depressed and am afraid that as a wife, I will not be able to do my duties and obey him because I have really lost hope in him. Please help me decide.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.
If your husband is as you described, then he has committed a number of sins and evil acts; being disobedient to his Lord and neglecting the right of his wife. The most serious matter that you mentioned about him is the fact that he abandoned the prayer, because by doing so, he cuts the relationship between his Lord and him. This alone is enough justification to ask for a divorce from him.
However, before asking for a divorce, you may seek the help of some righteous people to advise him. Also, supplicate Allah for him as much as possible. If he repents and turns to Allah, then this is what is required; otherwise, you may separate from him even by paying him a compensation; this is called Khul’ (divorce in return for a compensation).
It should be noted that if a wife hates her husband and she fears to be negligent about his right, it becomes permissible for her to ask him for a Khul’.
If we presume that divorce or Khul’ takes place, then the custody of your child is your right unless you get married again, in which case the custody moves to the female who is more eligible, such as your mother (i.e. the mother of the mother) according to the sequence mentioned by the scholars.If there is any dispute, then an Islamic court rules in this case.
We would like to point out the following matters:
1- The husband has no right to prevent his wife from visiting her family without a sound Islamic reason. In case he prevents her, is she obliged to obey him? There is a difference of opinion among the scholars in this issue. Nonetheless, we recommend that the husband helps his wife in being kind and dutiful to her parents and in keeping the ties with her kinship, just as he likes her to help him be dutiful to his own parents. A husband is not obliged to allow his wife to go to the market, but it is part of good marital relationship that he allows her to do so if there is no Islamic reason which prevents from it. Nevertheless, whenever a woman can stay in her home, it is better and safer for her. She does not go out except for her necessity. Allah says (what means): {And abide in your houses and do not display yourselves as [was] the display of the former times of ignorance. And establish prayer and give zakaah and obey Allah and His Messenger. Allah intends only to remove from you the impurity [of sin], O people of the [Prophet's] household, and to purify you with [extensive] purification.} [Quran 33:33]
2- A wife is not permitted to refuse to answer the call of her husband to bed just because she hates him. Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said, “If a husband calls his wife to bed (to have sexual intercourse with her) and she refuses, and he goes to bed angry with her, the angels will curse her until she gets up in the morning.” [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]..
Allah knows best.
-islamweb.net

Woman's in-laws have no right in her money

Image result for muslimat

Question

Assalaamualaikum. I married my husband out of my own consent. He is from a different state within India and hence from a different culture. Soon after marriage, his family asked me to take a loan of four lakhs by pawning four lakhs that my father had given me at the time of my marriage, which I did. Soon after, they asked me to pay back two lakhs that my husband had taken on loan for his marriage to me, which I also did. Whenever his parents visit us or we visit them, they demand things that they have seen in my house. We always gift them new sets of such things. My husband is always paying back debts because of this. Recently, he took a loan of 20 lakhs as his parents wanted a second house. As I also earn an income, I have been paying for maintenance of the house, my flights, my clothes, and gifts for his family. I want to know whether I am obligated to pay back the debts that my husband makes as well as make gift to his parents? They have never gifted me anything and say that since I am 'rich', I should get gifts for them and not vice versa. At one point in time, they also asked me to send my salary to them each month, which I have had arguments about with my husband as I think that that is my own money. They say that I should give all of my salary to him or them. I believe in saving for a rainy day, so I put my salary into insurance policies and land and so on. Things have come to a head and my husband wants to divorce me as I told his father that he had taken the loan of 20 lakhs without consulting me. I was angry because this concerns my future as well. I do not want my husband's money. I want him to save for a time of emergency and not spend more than he earns.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger. 
You are not Islamically obliged to pay your husband's debts, nor buy gifts for his parents, nor send a monthly salary to them, unless you do so out of your own will as an act of charity and kindness, and Allah loves the doers of good.
They are not entitled to exploit your wealth by forcing you to do what you are not obliged to do. The money that you earn is your own property and you are entitled to dispose of it in what is permissible as you wish. Moreover, your husband is obliged to spend on you even if you are rich..
Our advice to you is to try to appease your parents-in-law and avoid their evil as much as possible.
The most important thing to achieve stability in a marriage is mutual understanding between the spouses and that they do not allow others to interfere in their lives, as such interference may ruin their relationship.
Hence, you should not have spoken to your father-in-law about this loan that your husband had taken as he is not Islamically obliged to consult you about it, but it would have probably been better if he had done so. The fact that he makes this matter a reason for divorce is not acceptable from him. Marriage is not an easy matter so that it should be weakened for the least of reasons. Allah, the Almighty, called the marriage bond a solemn covenant, as He says (what means): {And how could you take it while you have gone in unto each other and they have taken from you a solemn covenant?} [Quran 4:21]
Hence, we advise you to be patient and try to reach a mutual understanding, especially in regard to what you mentioned of planning and saving for the future.
Finally, we warn you against resorting to any un-Islamic transactions in earning money, as it is Islamically forbidden to borrow money with interest or to deal with commercial insurance and similar transactions.
Allah knows best.
-islamweb.net

Face painting at children's parties

Image result for face-painting Malaysia

Question

Is face-painting lawful or unlawful? By face-painting, I mean to draw the shape of an animal face on a human face by coloring the nose and making drawings to mimic a cat face or a clown. This happens at parties in the West...even Eid parties, and I do not know if I should let my kids get their faces painted or not.

Answer

The only issue at hand would seem to be that of imitating animals. Scholars have determined that, as a basic rule, imitating the appearance and behavior of animals is dislike or even impermissible. 

They argue that whenever we find human being compared with animals in the Qur’ân and Sunnah, it is always as a means of derogation. 

For example Allah says: “So his parable is as the parable of the dog; if you attack him he lolls out his tongue.” [Sûrah al-A`râf: 176] 

Allah also says: “The likeness of those who were charged with the Torah, then they did not observe it, is as the likeness of the donkey bearing books.” [Sûrah al-Jumu`ah: 5] 

However, this ruling applies when the imitation of animals implies derogation, insult, or a loss of dignity. The estimation of this depends on the nature of the imitation itself as well as the context, both specific and cultural, in which it takes place. 

We see that the Prophet (peace be upon him) played with his grandchildren by giving them pretend horse or a camel rides. He would get on all fours and allow his little grandsons, al-Hasan and al-Husayn, ride on his back. He then said to them: “What a fine steed you have.” [Mu`jam al-Tabarânî with a good (hasan) chain of transmission.] 

In some narrations, he is quoted as saying to his grandchildren: “What a fine camel you have and what fine gentlemen you are.” 

This shows that imitating animals is not forbidden under all circumstances. Here the context is play with one’s children. It is well known way that fathers play with their small children at home and it is perfectly acceptable in most societies. 

The same considerations apply to children painting their faces at parties. It is merely an amusement engaged in by children on those special occasions. It implies no shame or loss of dignity for those children in the broader social context. 

Therefore, face painting for children at parties and on other festive occasions is comparable to the Prophet’s behavior with his grandsons. It is permissible. 

And Allah knows best.

-islamtoday.net

Swearing an oath by the Qur’ân

Image result for swear an oath by the Qur’ân in Malaysia

Question

Is it permissible to swear an oath by the Qur’ân or is this a sin or a form of polytheism?

Answer

In Islam, we are only allowed to swear an oath in Allah’s name. We make invoke any of Allah’s names and attributes when taking an oath. However, taking an oath in the name of anyone or anything or anyone else is indeed an act of polytheism. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "Whoever offers an oath should swear by Allah or remain silent." 

The Qur’ân is the word of Allah. It is not created. The speech of Allah is one of Allah’s eternal attributes. Therefore, it is permissible to take an oath by the Qur’ân if one intends by it Allah's attribute. 

However, if the person making the oath intends by it to swear by the physical pages of the book that are made of paper and ink, then this is not allowed, since the physical book is something created. 

Please refer to: The Permanent Committee of Saudi Arabia for Fatwâ and Research (1/354).

-islamtoday.net

Wednesday, 19 July 2017

Sexual intimacy & menstruation

Image result for suami isteri di haram jimak bila haid

Question

Can a man and his wife do anything intimate with one another when the wife is on her period?

Answer

Any form of sexual enjoyment between the husband and the wife is permitted with the exception of what is explicitly prohibited by the sacred texts.

The prohibited acts are: sex during menstruation, sex during post-natal bleeding, and anal sex.

Allah says: “Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth when or how you will.”

As for during menstruation, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Do everything except intercourse.” This means that the husband and wife can do everything with one another excerpt for actual sexual penetration.

And Allah knows best.

-islamtoday.net

Ruling on keeping cats

Image result for kucing kesayangan

QUESTION :

I know that cats in Islam are regarded as clean and pure animals but i am not sure what the ruling is on keeping them in the house as pets. 

I don't have anything against cats but i feel keeping them in the house and letting them wonder around the kitchen، bedroom etc is unhygienic. Please could you shed some light on this issue.
ANSWER :
Praise be to Allah.  
It is permissible in Islam for a person to keep permissible things that no one else has taken possession of before him, such as taking firewood from the desert or wood from the forest. The same applies to taking cats and raising them. One takes possession of a permissible thing by be acquiring it and having it under one's care, provided that it does not belong to anyone. 
Based on the above, we may say that there is nothing wrong with keeping cats which do not belong to anyone, on condition that one feeds them and does not torment them. But if it is proven that they cause some harm, such as if they are ill or one fears that they may transmit disease, then you should not keep them, because “there should be no harming nor reciprocating harm.” So whoever will be harmed by a cat’s presence should not keep one. Similarly, one who is not able to feed a cat should let it eat from the vermin of the earth and not keep it locked up, because of the report  narrated by al-Bukhaari (3223) and Muslim (1507) from ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with them both), according to which the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “A woman was punished because of a cat which she kept locked up until it died, and she entered Hell because of it, because she did not feed it or give it water when she kept it locked up, neither did she let it eat from the vermin of the earth.” 
With regard to cats eating food or drinking water, that does not make the food or water naajis (impure), because of the report narrated in Sunan Abi Dawood and elsewhere, which says that a woman brought some hareesah (a kind of food) to ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) and found her praying. (‘Aa’ishah) gestured to her that she should put it down. Then a cat came and ate some of it. When ‘Aa’ishah had finished praying, she ate from where the cat had eaten and said, “The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: ‘They (cats) are not naajis (impure), rather they are among those who go around among you (al-tawwaafeena ‘alaykum).’ I saw the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) doing wudoo’ with water from which a cat had drunk.” 
According to another report narrated by Abu Dawood (68) from Kabshah bint Ka’b ibn Maalik, who was married to Ibn Abi Qutaadah, Abu Qutaadah entered and she poured some water for him to do wudoo’. A cat came and drank from the water, and he tipped the vessel for it so that it could drink. Kabshah said: “He saw me looking at him and he said, ‘Do you find it strange, O daughter of my brother?’ I said, ‘Yes.’ He said, ‘The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, “They (cats) are not najis (impure), rather they are among those who go around among you (al-tawwaafeena ‘alaykum).”’” These two reports were classed as saheeh by al-Bukhaari, al-Daaraqutni and others, as was stated in al-Talkhees by Ibn Hajar, 1/15. 
“Those who go around among you (al-tawwaafeena ‘alaykum)” means that they are like servants who are with people in their houses, i.e., cats are always with people, in their houses and among their vessels and furnishings, etc., and this is something that cannot be helped. 
So if a cat drinks  from a vessel or eats some of the food, it does not become naajis (impure). The owner has the choice. If he is not put off or if he needs it, he may eat (the food) or drink (the water), because it is taahir (pure), unless it is obvious that it will cause harm. If he is put off by the idea of eating or drinking, then he may leave it. 
But we should point out here that what some people do, paying a great deal of attention to their cats and beautifying them, spending large amounts of money on them, is indicative of a lack of common sense and religious commitment, and exaggeration with regard to leisure, when there are millions of needy Muslims all over the world, let alone the fact that we Muslims should pay attention to making the best use of our time and filling it with worthwhile and beneficial pursuits, far removed from this folly which has come to us from the kafir west where some people spend more on their cats and dogs than they spend on their own sons and daughters, let alone the poor and needy. They may even bring their pets to stay in fancy hotels and bequeath large amounts of money to them. Praise be to Allah Who has honoured us with Islam and distinguished us from all the other nations. 
We should also point out that selling cats is not allowed, as was narrated in Saheeh Muslim (2933) from Abu’l-Zubayr who said: “I asked Jaabir about the price of a dog or a cat. He said, ‘The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) forbade that.’” 
And Allah knows best.
-islamqa.info